THAT Position!
by AyanamiEraclea
Summary: Zelda and Asa are always the last ones in the drama room...meaning no one's there to help them when the unthinkable happens! NOT ZeldaxAsa but IMPLIED ZeldaxManfred. T for language and simply...that position. Oneshot, bishes.


Just one little note...THIS IS NOT ASAxZELDA. This is a humor fic and in no way implies ZeldaxAsa. It DOES imply ManfredxZelda. So yeah. Oneshot.

THAT Position

"Get the hell OFF!"

"I can't, the boxes are on top of me, Zelda!"

"Well, you're a man, push them off with your muscles!"

"I don't HAVE muscles!"

"I could have guessed!"

"Then stop yelling at me!"

"You're so freaking heavy...I'm gonna suffocate!"

"Did you just call me fat?"

"No, Asa, you're heavy because of all the muscle!" Zelda sighed. It all started in the drama room...

-flashback-

_"You guys stay behind. I'll come back and help later!" Manfred was running toward his father's voice. Zelda sighed. She was genuinely sad to see him go. "Oh, damn." She said sadly._

_"What, sad that your not-lover's gone?"_

_"Shut up, Asa."_

_"No."_

_"SHUT UP, ASA!" Zelda screamed, kicking a box on the bottom of a stack. Suddenly the boxes came crashing down on Zelda and she pushed Asa under her to catch her fall._

_"Oh. My. God. ASAYOUFUCKINGPERVERT!" Zelda screamed in one breath. She attempted to slap him, but her arm was caught under a box._

_"Wait until Manfred comes back...!"_

_"He'll take pictures of us and it'll be blackmail material for years...I know my best friend well, Zelda. You obviously don't. You keep treating him like he's gonna come save you from everything..._

-end flashback-

And so there they were. "Well, he kinda does!"

"He's using you!"

"You know what?" Zelda said angrily, then she calmed down. "Let's not fight. Let's think of a way to get ourselves out of this mess."

"Move a bit." Zelda tried to move but ended up just grinding against Asa.

"That feels kinda good, actually..."

"PERVERT! WAIT UNTIL I GET OUT OF-"

"Oh my God, are you guys OK?" Manfred's head popped in the doorway. He saw the position they were in and blushed.

"Oh, if you guys are doing something, I understand..." Asa had a horror-stricken look on his face.

"You think I WANT to be like this with the she-devil?"

"I am not a she-devil! He said...well, he said something and I flipped."

"Use telekinesis!"

"My brain's completely wiped! It's been a tough day! I can't do it now!"

"Some telekinetic you are!"

"At least I can use my endowedment at all times of day and I'm not fuck ugly when I use it!"

Manfred's eyes widened. "Um, let me get you guys out of this..." He tripped over another stack and MORE boxes fell, crushing him on top of Zelda. She quickly turned red.

"Oh. My. God. Manfred, I'm sorry, you shouldn't have done that..." Manfred was also red.

"No. Are you OK, Zelda? You look like you can't breathe." Well, _yeah_. _No_ _shit_. But why was a mystery. It was partly because Manfred was around 6'1 and about 50 pounds heavier than she was and was on top of her. But it was partly because...well...it was Manfred. On TOP OF HER. And she was embarrassed and excited and...she couldn't breathe.

"I'm OK. Thank you for asking." She said. She was blushing like mad heck.

"Thanks, buddy." Asa said sarcastically. "I'm the one with at least 260 pounds of bone and skin on top of me and you're asking HER if she's OK when she's been dreaming of this moment for three years! You guys better find a way to get us out of this or else..."

"Um, what are you guys doing?" Olivia Vertigo's head popped in the doorway.

"Giving you and your good friend Bone blackmail material for years..." Asa muttered angrily.

"Here, let me help."

"We don't need your _damn_ help!" Manfred yelled. Olivia's eyes narrowed.

"I'll tell Tancred to bring his camera over here." She said, walking away.

"FINE! Why do you want to help us anyway?"

"Because I owe Zelda my life!" Asa turned to Zelda.

"Yes...I saved her life. But it was Inez's fault 'cause she isn't on a damn SIDE and she wanted me to help and there was a big rock falling and...yeah."

"So I just want to repay this debt." Olivia walked out of the room.

"What in the bloody HELL is she doing now?" Asa sighed exasperatedly. She walked back in with Dorcas Loom, Lysander Sage, who was giggling, Emma Tolly, who looked like she was surpressing a laugh, and...oh, no. NO. Charlie Bone was standing in the doorway cracking up.

"Not so much a masterful telekinetic now, are you, Zelda?"

"Shut up, you drowned rat." The children proceeded to lift the boxes of the three of them, and finally they were able to stand.

"You gonna thank us?" Lysander asked.

"No." Manfred said defiantly. "Olivia owes." The other two nodded.

"Of course." Olivia said, winking. "Let's go, you guys." The children left. Manfred offered Zelda a hand. She took it and her heart pounded.

"Are you OK?" He asked softly.

"Yes." She smiled. He smiled back.

"Good." Asa stood up and brushed himself off.

"Well, I'm glad that's over. Seeing that your not-lover's here, I guess I'll..." Zelda grinned and one by one, using telekinesis, pushed the boxes back onto Asa and jumped out of the way.

"See you, Asa." Manfred said, leaving the room, Zelda following like always. Asa heard the feet of children shuffling by.

"Hello? A bit of help, please. VERTIGO! Thank God you're here, can you get these boxes off of..."

"I don't owe anymore. Sorry, Asa." She said with a laugh. Asa rolled his eyes.

"Not to self: Never say the words not-lover to Zelda EVER."

Fin.

I know. Sucky ending. But hey, I don't always do so hot.


End file.
